16. “A 2-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” —Jerry Seinfeld 17. “The reason I love kids so much is because they’re so honest, so you know ...

Man calls his wife to say he won $5 million in Virginia lottery. ... A Virginia woman came up with a funny and very understated response ... His $30 winning ticket in the $5,000,000 ...